Yesterday, in the Diploma class, as we were covering Erikson's Stages of Development, we came to Intimacy versus Isolation. For those of you unfamiliar with Erikson, this stage describes what is commonly encountered in the 18-35 year old range. In this stage, according to the theory, we as human being grapple with the issue of creating truly intimate relationships rather than spending our days in isolation. It specifically looks at this age group as one seeks a marriage partner and begins a family. My diploma class is made up entirely of men, most of whom are married and have a family. However, in this culture marriage is not viewed the same as you and I do. The conversation went something like this...
Me: So, why do you think this age group seeks a wife?
Class: So that you will have someone to cook for you, wash your clothes and help make the farm.
Me: What if you could live alone and have someone just bring meals to you and wash your clothes for you?
Class: Well, then you would need children also.
Me: Alright then, what if someone brought you some children, said that you could have them, and then did the work of raising them for you.
Class: Well, the children need to actually be your own.
Me: OK, then the children are yours and someone else raises them for you, why do you need a wife?
Class: Uh........???

Interesting, isn't it. How do you translate the concept of emotional intimacy between a man and wife to a culture that does not even understand that. On the other hand, they understand the biblical idea of the friendship between David and Jonathan much better than we do, because they are closer to members of their own gender than they are to their wives. Our culture, where men smile and nod at each other, and exchange gun stories or sports trivia, does not understand it as well. I commented to my class that my husband was my best friend and they were shocked! :)
In contrast, today I proceeded still further in translating Pride and Prejudice into Krio for my Certificate level class, who, surprisingly... are thoroughly enjoying the story. We dealt with the idea that it is foolish to marry someone just for the sake of their inheritance, rather than for who they are... and that marriage is not something to be taken lightly. Interestingly enough, that concept seemed to translate just fine.! I have so much to learn. :)
I sometimes feel like my life is a paradox of characters. I sometimes feel like June Cleaver in Leave it to Beaver... wearing my long skirts as I cook and bake everything from scratch... until I trip over one of my three stones that make up my stove/oven... and then I remember that I probably have a lot more in common with the mother of the Swiss Family Robinson. I can relate to Amelia Earhart, as I carefully tread the fine line of teaching men in a male dominated culture... one in which women are simply workers, without much of a voice... and yet at the same time I often feel like Christy - thrown in over my head with no idea of what I have gotten myself into.
Here is the coolest thing... I have developed - at least momentarily.... a fearlessness that says "Let the chips fall where they may, I will continue on the path I know that God has for me" I am no longer afraid of opposition or failure. God is in control of both circumstances and timing. I have nothing to fear. So, I dive from one literary comparison to the other in my day to day adventures, knowing the end of the story is in God's capable hands - so I just enjoy the adventures, the suspense, the ups and the downs...all the while knowing it will all turn out just right in the end.